McGrathisms

Friday, 20 June 2008 21:09

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For Bush, achieving peace is a constant battle, and in that quest, he has resolutely stuck to his guns.

Shorthand for Bush 41 and 43:  Father and Fool

Trying to make coal burn clean is a little like trying to deodorize a privy.  You think you're making progress until you take a deep breath.

Vladimir Putin's most recent award is from the Lucretia Borgia Biological

Institute in Moscow for his important contributions to the study of toxins and their affect on the human body.

Aging is when life gets filled more and more with ghosts, especially one's own.

Coming soon in concert halls all across the nation, a revolutionary new work: Concerto for Cell Phones and Orchestra

In selecting Barak Obama the winner of the Iowa caucuses, the people of Iowa launched the Second Emancipation Proclamation, this time the freeing of white Americans from 200 years of bondage.

Eating crow isn't so bad, it's just those damn feathers.

In West Virginia "The Mountain State," mountains routinely "blow their tops."  More accurately, the Coal mining barons are blasting them to smithereens to get coal.  At the rate they're going, West Virginia will soon be known as "The Plateau State."  With two of the most powerful senators in Washington, Robert Byrd and Jay Rockefeller, one with the most power and the other with the most money, one would think they could do better.  After all, Senator Byrd has successfully moved half of the Executive Branch to the State, and Jay Rockefeller is as "Rich as Rockefeller."

Crying in public has become the new campaign tactic of presidential candidates and we can expect to see a lot more of it. Perfected by Bill Clinton, who could cry at the drop of a handkerchief, the Kleenex industry is expected to pick-up.  While some get upset in viewing these weeps, they should get used to it.  We have come a long way since Ed Muskie wept in New Hampshire, for crying out loud; surely all of the losing candidates are entitled to a good sob, especially in New Hampshire... One of the best new campaign slogans seen recently, was "We cry harder."  And, if a candidate lost on that account, it would be a crying shame.

Mitt Romney may be a plausible candidate for president, but would you buy a used Cadillac from him? 

John Edwards, "the barefoot boy in Bankruptcy Court, offsets that hardship with tender loving care for the other end of his anatomy, a $400 dollar haircut.

"Self-deception is the greatest lie of all"

"In Thomas Jefferson's day, when dealing with the Barbary Coast pirates, it was "Millions for defense, not one cent for tribute."  Now when dealing with the same group of plunderers, it's "Millions for tribute, not one cent for defense."  I guess that's some kind of progress.